dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
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