Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
