Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
