i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
