So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
