All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
