why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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