Well apparently he's into motor boating.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
