i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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