Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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