Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
