it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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