it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
