I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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