wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
