Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
