I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
