Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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