What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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