Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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