what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize