Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize