Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
