I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is Oprah even human
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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