are you still at the devil's house?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
