just tell him i said nine months
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
