to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
