He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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