Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
