Kiss
Puke
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
