I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it glows. i had to have it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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