I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
are you so shy because you have an std?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
