dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
