Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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