If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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