All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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