More tranny stories later!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
