Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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