some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
