So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
