I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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