Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
