i would punch a child for taco bell
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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