she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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