the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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