just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
