In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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