tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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