Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think i have herpe
just one?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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