I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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