i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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