Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
there is glitter all over my balls
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