Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
