And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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