You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
