it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
