I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
