sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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