what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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