never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
