I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize