Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
