where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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